Are premature ejaculators selfish?
This is a misconception that has a hard life and is struggling to disappear. When marital duty was experienced by some women, they might be happy to see their husband turn away after a few seconds. But the sexual revolution has opened the doors to a sexuality that needs to be fulfilled, and premature ejaculation can profoundly disturb a couple.
The feminine point of view
It is difficult for a woman confronted by a partner suffering from premature ejaculation not to go through different stages. When the problem only happens once in a while, she will be understanding! Fatigue, stress, worries … A lot of things can explain the problem. Unfortunately, when the thing repeats itself and becomes even recurring, it will have more difficulties to face it especially if its partner does not wish to start a discussion. Worst of all, she may believe that it is her fault, she may lose her confidence in herself, and believe herself less desired. Then, she can actually think that the premature ejaculator is a selfish, who thinks only of him and his pleasure. Frustrated, disappointed, she will move away and the sexuality of the couple will be further weakened.
A mere perfectionist?
The idea that the man who would enjoy in a few seconds would be a mere egoist comes from the fact that we always associate ejaculation and orgasm. But who could have decreed that after the male orgasm, the sexual intercourse had to be finished? The stress that this belief generates in humans, especially in the young man often inexperienced, can alone, explain the advent of premature ejaculation! This requirement of performance, conveyed by porn movies, the media, the polls of women’s magazines can be accompanied by a deep anxiety, the fear of not succeeding in making enjoy her partner and this “panic” leads him to contract all his muscles, to restrain himself to the maximum, to do not give up ! Without knowing, on the contrary, it is the contraction of the muscles that leads to ejaculation …
When the discussion is needed
Premature ejaculation is a psychological disorder that can be burned into a reflex. This is why the cause of this problem should be found quickly before the body lists it as “normal” and becomes difficult to remove. Talking with your partner is a way of breaking down tensions and explaining things before you can find a way to improve them. Explain the problem you are facing, ask her how to make her reach orgasm other than with penetration, what she likes … By focusing on foreplay, placing cunnilingus at the center of her pleasure, using your fingers, sextoys … Women are not only focused on penetration, nor on performance!
Often, when the man manages to reassure himself about his ability to give pleasure to his partner, his stress decreases and his abilities are increased. No longer placing performance at the center of intercourse is the beginning of the end of premature ejaculation.